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Anywhere But Here

by Malcolm MacWatt

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Half Hearted 03:09
You are a diamond deep down in a dark mine I know you’re there and you're precious but I don’t see you shine Maybe it’s me who is stopping your light shining through Cos you sparkle for others but I get the dark side of you I would put myself into harm’s way keeping you safe Give you my bleeding heart if your’s stopped beating one day I’d give you my last breath to stop you drowning in the deep I’d take a bullet but I don’t think you’d do it for me It’s time to just say it, time to face facts I’m in love with somebody who don’t love me back It’s sad but it’s true your love is all I ever wanted I gave you my all but you only gave me half-hearted So if this is goodbye I don’t know why you’d be crying If you begged me stay, said you loved me, you’d be white lying You say that maybe one day you could learn to love me That’s kind of you but I’d rather love came naturally
Me and Jessie Ray been best friends forever Grew up in the same little town in Indiana So when Jessie said that we should go digging for our fortune I bought a pan and shovel and westwards we went rolling I’ve been told that it gets cold in California So we staked out our claims right next to each other And Jessie spent his days working on the river And I spent all my money on women and cheap whiskey I wasted all my time hungover and hungry Now I know that it gets cold in California Then one day it came, a whooping and a screaming And I saw Jessie Ray laughing loud and leaping In the morning sun bright gold was gleaming yellow And green-eyed envy woke up in my belly slow My jealousy runs cold in California He always had more than his fair share of lucky Lucky with love cos he was tall and pretty Lucky with fate cos his mum and daddy loved him And I was just Jessie's less than lucky friend But his luck was growing cold in California Well I shot Jessie dead with his daddy’s 45 I left his body there face down by the riverside And I put all, his hard-earned gold straight into my pockets Packed my bags and headed home a richer man with prospects And I left his body cold in California
Stumbling out of a downtown bar at midnight My head is spinning and my legs don’t work right Some girl I never met before has got my hand I’m holding on real tight cos I can hardly stand Next thing I know I’m lying on her bed She’s working hard to get me set for the best night of my life she said And to my surprise my body’s shifting into gear Cos my mind was wishing I was anywhere but here I wanna be home with you, just talking, laughing, loving like we used to All alone with you, in a restaurant, in the car or a beach or the bedroom But you’re gone and this is my way of dealing with the changes, Sleeping with strangers, regretting it later and wishing I was home with you Now I’m awake and looking around her bedroom The smell of damp on the sheets and last week’s perfume Dirty laundry lying on a dusty floor, Top of the pile I see my own clothes That was nowhere near the best night of my life And I’m pretty sure she’s had much better times Her morning mouth whispers sweet things in my ear But my mind is wishing I was anywhere but here
Ghosts 03:28
There’s a ghost in our home When it comes in the room turns cold I ain’t scared cos it leaves me well alone There’s a ghost in our home There’s a ghost at our place It’s got your name, got your face It lies beside me in our bed It’s the ghost of you but you ain’t dead CH: You ain’t dead yet, cos I can hear you breathe We can’t talk about it cos we don’t even speak We ain’t dead yet, but we might as well be Cos I’m just as dead to you as you are to me What is left when love breaks down When all is gone but we can’t move on We’re still together but only by a thread We’re not living and we’re not dead So take this house and cover it with dirt Lay a stone on top saying don’t disturb Here lies two people who once were close Long before they died they were ghosts
Goddam the rain, fallin on us all Falls on the pure and the wicked, the poor and the richest The biggest and the small When you stand there shivering soaked through to the skin And colder than the grave - there ain’t no shame Just blame it on the goddam rain The river is rising, getting higher everyday It the clouds keep coming and the rain keeps falling The bridge is getting washed away And if I can’t get into town to let my sorrows drown Then there’s gonna be hell to pay - that’s just my way I’ll blame it on the goddam rain Too many flooded roads or the crops don’t grow Muddy water in my veins If the sun don’t show and you’re feeling low And you got the blues again And if she’s gone and left me and life feels empty And my heart is full of pain - that’s ok Just blame it on the goddam rain
You don't need to build defenses All your walls and barricades I know you ain't taking chances Put all your sticks and stones away Tear down all your barb wire fences Take off your bulletproof vest Put the dirt back in your trenches If you want my surrender I'll accept CH: It seems to me like everytime somebody gets too close Alarm bells ring inside and wake your bad ghosts And you go into heart survival mode and get ready to run But I don't want to hurt you none and my love ain't a gun. M8: And yes it's true Love can hurt, wound and kill you And I understand Love can be a weapon in the wrong hands It can send you straight to hell or Kingdom Come But this is one of those times you gotta trust someone Cos my love ain't a gun I know it’s all just self-protection When you say you need your space Nobody wants to feel rejection But you don’t have to lock and bolt your gates No-one is setting out to hurt you Sometimes that’s just the way it goes Cos when somebody wants to love you If you don’t let them try you’ll never know
Drowning in the shallows Stumbling through the shadows Searching for ways to keep control Behind the skin that we knew the Selkie lived within you Pulled by stronger currents than your soul ​ Through all your storms and sunshine heartbreaks and highlights The spirit always restless on your shore And when big seas were rolling the Selkie heard the calling Your wave has come at last to take you home Now you go where we can’t go Down to depths only you know And it’s not for us to know why You tired of this world and slipped away with the tide So pull the ocean over It’s warm beneath its covers Let yourself go under one last time The empty shell that they found And put into the cold ground You cast off the body that slowed you down
Time after time..night after night Barely survive fight after fight We head back to our corners, take time to lick our wounds Then it’s heads down, hands up, coming out swinging for another round of love It’s hard to believe, that’s how we love We gotta bleed before we kiss and make up Nothing could feel sweeter than that first forgiving touch So we keep on going, toe to toeing, another round of love CH: Pick ourselves up, rise from the dirt Take the gloves off make the next one hurt Another low blow landed it comes to push and shove Then it’s lights up, seconds out, hanging off the ropes, another round of love We hold on tight, then split at the seams There’s no referee, to get in-between We both go the distance till both of us feel numb Despite everything, we get back in the ring, another round of love
Ain't gonna lie or make excuses I know full well what the truth is And sooner or later you'll find out anyway So I'm just gonna shut my mouth and pray CH: I ain’t proud of what I did last night My low down hit a whole new height And right now all I can feel is this shame So I can’t face calling you today I know you gonna take this bad I know it's gonna make you mad And if this was the other way round You know I'd be thinking ‘bout kicking you out So I don't see no point explaining I fucked up and that says it all And I'll try not do this again cos the gutter gets deeper and dirtier with every fall And a shower could never wash last night away So I can't face calling you today
it on the TV, I hear it on the street So much hate and fear, so much misery It’s getting to the point where, I don’t watch the news Same old story, same old blues So I been listening to the radio, Tuning in to all of them country shows But I keep on hearing one thing and I’m getting tired of Too many love songs and not enough love CH: It’s boy meets girl on a sun-kissed beach Sugar babes all honey sweet Making love to a beautiful woman down by the creek There’s good, good loving and love gone wrong And everybody beautiful is getting it on And if a heart is breaking the pain’s still bittersweet Nashville must be better than heaven above Cos everybody’s singing ‘bout love The poor get sick, that’s tough luck Nobody got money to buy that brand new truck The mine and the sawmill, the plant closed down At least crank is made in the USA, it’s the only game in town Who’s making a noise for the working man? A grudge and a guitar goes hand in hand Yet all I ever hear today in all this fire and blood Is too many love songs and not enough love This old world’s spinning out of control Gods all fighting for humanity’s soul Mr King had a dream but we ain’t got there yet People running from home trying to find peace Somebody’s child washes up on a beach But here comes another love song to help us forget
Flowers for weddings, roses sweet-smelling All the bright colours and shades Flowers for lovers and remembering others Flowers for funerals and graves Wine for the warrior, the poets and satyrs Wine to forget and console One for the thinker, two for the drinker But nothing for body and soul CH: Flowers and wine, flowers and wine Here’s to all of those dead friends of mine I might get lonely but I’ll be just fine If I have flowers and wine You were waiting for me to get my head straight I was taking my time Now you’re not holding your breath for me to grow up I’m in no hurry to shine All my tomorrows are scarecrows and shadows This is the one thing I know Your name is sorrow, behind me you follow Wherever I go you stay close
Caledonia 04:32
I remember that day, I packed my things and walked away I knew I couldn’t stay, one day longer So I crossed your line, took one last look behind Watched you slowly fade from sight as you got smaller Leaving you felt right, for my own peace of mind I knew I had to find my own direction CH: Now you’re calling me home, Caledonia Back to country roads I know Big city life, ain’t good for ya I’ve been gone too long and there’s a north wind blowing up a storm Caledonia calls me home Some things never change, how you feel about some place For me it’s the wild open space between Sutherland’s shores With a sea breeze in my hair, where I breathe sweet mountain air Where your spirit and the land there can get no closer To love you must know, how it feels to let it go If it’s gone and leaves a hole then close the distance


released November 6, 2018

Recorded at Perryvale Studios, London October 2018


all rights reserved



Malcolm MacWatt London, UK

“MacWatt will doubtless be considered among the best of the new breed of folksingers and songwriters, who speak of the past as a way to perhaps understand it and move forward” Stephen Rapid, Lonesome Highway

“He shines as a singer and he shines as an interpreter of the eternal folk songbook,” Tom Brosseau, The Great American Folk Show, North Dakota
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